Identity Loss & Grief

Your results show that you may be experiencing heightened feelings of grief and loss of your identity.

This grief you're feeling right now is completely normal. What's gone is an old version of you — the one who could leave the house on a whim, sleep through the night, finish a thought, or recognize her own body in the mirror.

A lot of mothers miss their old self and it doesn't mean you don't also love your baby.

There can be real pangs of longing for your old life and self. And right behind it, guilt — for missing "just" a version of yourself when there's a baby right there who's supposed to make it all worth it.

The grief can show up in different ways: the birth that didn't go how you planned. The first weeks that were supposed to feel like bonding but felt more like survival. Friendships that shifted or faded. A body that doesn't feel like home anymore.

It also tends to sneak up on you— a song, a stranger's stroller, nothing at all. Because no one really gives you permission to grieve something that's supposed to be the happiest moment of your life.

Two things are true at the same time: I love this baby completely. And I'm mourning who I was before.